Why Men can pee standing up!!

God was just about done creating humans,
but he had two parts left over. He couldn't
decide how to split them between Adam and Eve
so He thought He might just as well ask them.
He told them one of the things He had left was a
thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing
up.
"It's a very handy thing," God told them,"and I was wondering
if either one of you had a preference for it."
Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh please give that
to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the
sort of a thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease!! Give it
to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy.
Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so
badly,that he could have it. So God gave Adam the thing that
allowed him to pee standing up.
Adam was so excited he started whizzing all over the place,
first on the side of a rock, then wrote his name in the sand, and
then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away,
laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve,
"Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left."
"Whats it called ?" asked Eve.
"Brains!" said God.

The Answering Service at the Mental Institute

Some funny to keep you smiling, while you sip on that cup of coffee

Answering Service At The Mental Institute....have fun!


"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.

If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

What I want for Valentine's Day

What do I want for Valentine’s Day? Well flowers are nice but, eventually they die. Chocolates specially dark one,mmmmm, oh so yummy but then again they won’t last long …One thing I know that will last a long time are those sexy lingerie, specially if they are send by my cusmomers, love to open those boxes and see how well they now this lady's taste.